OLATHE, KANSAS – In what is surely to be remembered as one of the biggest achievements in modern aviation, two navigational waypoints high over the vast Kansas landscape will be removed this month after numerous pilots (mostly Millennial and Gen-Z regional pilots) complained that they had developed symptoms of being offended after programming waypoints into their flight computers, or FMS units, that referenced gender.
“I was feeling fine, and had just consumed my fourth venti blonde-roast Starbucks coffee, when suddenly I was asked to fly direct to a waypoint named GIRLS,” states pilot Jason Hagendorf. “Immediately I felt a wave of fear overcome my decision making, and my vision became blurried,” he added.
In the past 3 months, numerous pilots have reported similar effects when asked to fly to waypoints referencing gender; the most notable of these being a waypoint named BOYZZ.
“Yeah, it’s bad,” said one regional pilot, who had just finished his Pop Tart and K-Cup coffee after getting his refreshing 2-hour nights sleep on his ‘crash pad’ couch. “I had heard about this, but I never experienced it until I was cleared direct from a center (air traffic) controller last month. I programmed BOYZZ into the computer, and I nearly yelled at the controller. I felt so angry. So ashamed. Like, are we just assuming the gender of these waypoints? They are navigational aids. They are made up. Who are we to suggest otherwise? It’s absolutely sickening.”
A number of airlines have asked the air traffic controllers and their union to stop using the waypoints all together. As of this writing, over 20 airlines have signed a petition asking Congress to officially remove all waypoints referencing gender.
“It’s a small step, and we have a long way to go, but it’s a step,” said one airline CEO, who asked to remain anonymous. “The safety of our crew and passengers is of our highest priority. Well, that and privatizing the national air traffic control system, but I digress.”
A number of passengers were interviewed at O’Hare Airport in Indianapolis referencing this issue.
“I don’t see it being a problem. The way I see it, airlines have perfectly professional emergency procedures. If a plane has to ditch because it had to fly over some highly-offensive waypoint, so be it,” one of them said.
Other navigational waypoints in question include BALLS,MENNN,WOMEN,TITTS, HARVY, and the Crazy Woman VOR (CZI)
This is a developing story and will be updated as news arrives.