(ISLIP, NEW YORK) – Boarding a Southwest 737 jumbo jet last evening, local air traffic controller Arrogantasshole Smith was boarding in a safe and expeditious manner, when suddenly, he heard laughing from his left.
“Ayo, I was like, da fuq is this shit,” said “AA” as his friends call him.
“They be like, look at this fuckers name. I said, you tink that’s funny? Bro, I can fuckin’ vector like 10 planes at once, motherfucker,” he went on, munching down on his egg-everything bagel before going into some huge rant that covered topics ranging from taxes to “everyone gets a trophy these days”.
The gate agent who works for Southwest was the one laughing at Arrogantasshole’s name, which she saw on a ticket. She declined to comment when we reached out.
“I heard it. I saw everything. Totally disrespectful. That’s someone’s son,” said one passenger.
“Everyone here on this planet, and in this country, has the right to have their name respected,” said Southwest Airlines PR rep Mitch Roberts. “This is an allegation that we take very, very seriously.”
There have also been reports that a passenger named “Littledickjohn” was practically laughed out of a Allegiant Airlines flight last week, but ultimately, the entire flight was cancelled when it was discovered the aircraft had no working engines.